A blog should be a place where I can post my honest opinions on anything and everything. Sometimes I aim for perfection a bit too much and I end up only disappointing myself. So here I am, my toes freezing due to the blasting air conditioning here on campus, and I am going to attempt free writing. I think that's what it's called? When you write NONSTOP for a set period of time. So I've set an alarm for 10 minutes. Let's see what I come up with.
Oh no I'm coming off blank. I swear when I decided to do this I had a million topics in mind and now, nothing. I'm waiting for my friends to finish grocery shopping so that I can have lunch with them. Their 4 year old baby is my bestfriend and it's her birthday today! Is that sad? A four year old for a best friend? If you ask me they make the BEST kind of friends. Their minds and hearts are still so pure and innocent, untainted by the evils of this world. And when kids love they love so unconditionally (despite the short attention span :P). I love seeing her face light up when I come visit or how she would tell me she loves me and I know that I can trust those words easily and without a doubt. They are so much more open with their feelings, something we lose over the years. We become more guarded of our feelings and people never really say what they mean anymore.
My legs are numb and my fingers are getting stiff because I am freezing. I guess it's lunch time because the noise ratio just shot up. So many people. I feel like hiding. HAHA. I'm trying to write but my ears keep getting distracted. EAVES DROPPING. Oh man please shut it off, I don't want to listen to their highschool drama. Back on track. Three minutes left. I shouldn't have said that because now I'm flustered. What now?
Do you consider yourself to be a good person? Have you ever thought that maybe what you think of yourself does not match what others think of you? I had a little visit from reality a couple of weeks ago when I found out that people don't really think I'm as nice as I thought I was. Now who's fault is that? Yours or mine?? (haha with a comment like that, no wonder!) But it's OK to not be liked. You can't really expect to be liked by everyone, right? I think that would be more creepy. One thing is for sure, I am who I am. And as long as I know in my heart that I don't intentionally hurt people, then I'm OK with that. I'm good with being ME. And if you're not, ayah tough luck! :P
TIME'S UP!!!!
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By popular demand (and by popular I mean, one person): a self commentary.
I decided to free write to see what it feels like to let go. Free writing is suppose to be messy and all over the place, a true stream of consciousness. But when I reread mine, I noticed that even in the times when I`ve supposedly let go, I am still overly cautious. I`m pretty sure this has a lot to do with the fact that I have become more closed off, even to myself. Maybe it is because my mind and my heart are trying to protect me since I`m too stubborn to protect myself...I think I might even consider myself a modern martyr. Figure that one out. Maybe I`ll explain later on, in forms of metaphors and the likes, but as for now, all you get is a peek ;)
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